A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram.
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.
"Take your axe and go cut it down!"
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back...
"Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
A lumber jack is at the dentist’s office for a double root canal, for which the dentist insists he must administer laughing gas and local anesthetics.
The lumber jack smiles and proudly declines the laughing gas and anesthetics and says that he can bear the pain. The dentist tells the lumber jack that the procedure is excruciatingly painful and that he has never performed it without the pain killers.
Still the lumber jack insists on not receiving the painkillers.
The dentist, his interest piqued, asks how the lumber jack can stand such pain.
The lumberjack tells the dentist that two experiences in his career have made him immune to pain. The dentist presses for more details and the lumberjack continues… “I was out cutting timber, when I had an incredible urge to relieve myself, so I went behind a tree and proceeded to do my business. But, at the point that I began to squat, I got my jewels snapped in a large bear trap! That was the first most painful experience in my life!”
The dentist then asked, “What was the second?”
The lumber jack replied, “When I got up and ran!”